Submitted by Felecia, Newton, MA

Why is two such a difficult year?

Answered by Jacque Grillo , Director, Lone Mountain Children's Center

For anyone who's ever spent much time with a two year old, the term "terrible twos" doesn't require a lot of explanation. At some point right around a child's twenty-fourth month a dramatic and often challenging transformation occurs. From a placid, typically compliant, sweet and affectionate little being emerges something almost unrecognizable in its defiance and unrelenting willfulness!

The typical, normally developing two-year-old has only recently mastered his first words and simple phrases. So the best way he knows to express what are very powerful and complicated feelings is to say "NO!" And say "NO" he does, seemingly countless times each day. If your two-year-old had the benefit of a more sophisticated vocabulary, what is it she might say to you after the "NO"?

It might go something like this: "For my whole life you've done nothing but cart me around and dress me up as if I were nothing but some pretty package. You've showed me off to your friends and I've endlessly entertained you with my cuteness and sweetness. I've gone along with whatever you wanted, and you've had complete control over my every movement and decision. You determined when I should eat, what I should wear, and everything else about my life down to the tiniest detail. I acknowledge you've largely had my best interests at heart, but now it's time for me to break loose and assert myself! Frankly I'm a little tired of being thought of as simply an extension of you. I need to be me! I'm a separate person with my own needs, interests and preferences, and it's past time you let me go and allowed me to express myself!"