Submitted by Elizabeth, Cleveland  OH

I want my son to become more independent, but sometimes his choices are inappropriate for a situation. How can I let him be independent but also set some boundaries?

Answered by Jacque Grillo , Director, Lone Mountain Children's Center

Sometimes we need to let go, and sometimes we need to hold on.  Just as your child is daily testing the limits of his own autonomy, we as parents and caregivers daily confront our own limits.  The good news is that there is no one right way, no prescription, no step-by-step parenting manual to follow.  What you have instead is your own instinct as a parent, and an intimate knowledge of your child's unique personality and history; and, of course, a deep love for the task at hand.  If she insists on wearing her pink tutu and cowgirl jacket to the grocery store is it really worth asserting your will and dampening her independent spirit?  On the other hand, it may make more sense for other occasions (like for church or for preschool) to lay out two or three options of appropriate outfits and let her make the ultimate choice.