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Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child

In Mom's House, Dad's House, Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., gives persuasive treatment to the idea that a shift in language and in certain assumptions makes a huge difference in bringing about a more peaceful reality for kids of divorced families. Ricci's book is excellent for anyone going through this watershed event in her own family, and it should also be required reading for anyone whose friend (or whose child's friend) is dealing with divorce. The more carefully chosen language that she advocates is one that we've tried to adopt. It's especially helpful with the littlest kids, whose worldview is framed by the way these concepts are first presented. Ricci helps parents explain that their marriage "ended," as if its running its course was a natural thing. Turning the word over again in our minds and our conversations reminds us that "ended" is a much more calming word than "broke up," "left," and all the other verbs that paved the road to what we dramatically called "Splitsville." That shouldn't be any child's address.

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