Savvy Parenting : Wise Words to Remind You to Watch the Amazing Show of Childhood The Savvy Source for Parents

One of the most dog-eared and spine-cracked books on our Savvy Parenting Shelf is Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. This month's look at the big picture of parenting and childhood prompted yet another return to the wisdom in Dr. Mogel's pages:

"I meet many parents who are trying so hard to be perfect parents, to make everything just right for their children, that they're draining away their pleasure in parenting. They're too exhausted and too unconsciously resentful to enjoy the amazing show of childhood. For these parents, every minute needs to count. [...]

My advice to all of these parents is to tolerate some low-quality time. Have a little less ambition for yourself and your children. Plan nothing -- disappoint your kids with your essential mediocrity and the dullness of your home. Just hang around your children and wait to see what develops. Strive to be a "good enough" parent, not a great one. It can make everyone in the family relax and paradoxically make life richer."

-- Wendy Mogel, Ph.D.
The Blessings of a Skinned Knee

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Although I understand the value in giving yourself (and your kids) a break on the expectation rocketship (ever rising), I think this might be the most difficult advice I have heard for the new year. I think we have something innate in us to want to give our children more than we had, whether it is more toys, activities, education, hugs, whatever. How do you settle for "good enough" for some of the most valuable relationships in your life. Add multiple kids in the mix and they are already getting 1/2, 1/3, or 1/4. Shouldn't those fractions be out of a whole, rather than a "good enough" sector? Think I am going to invest in that book. I obviously have something to learn here.

Posted on Jan 9, 2009