Go Local with a Being Savvy City Blog
May 2008
Theme: “Life is Art; Art is Life”
And They Slept Happily Ever After: Using Art to Tame Nightmares
Your pediatrician may well have warned you that your 18-month-old might start showing signs of some pretty vivid dreams. She may not have mentioned, however, that those dreams might swell into full-fledged nightmares over the next few years. Further, she may not have mentioned that a preschooler's nightmare almost instantly becomes his entire family's nightmare. You may all need some peaceful sleep at this point.
We sure do.
Nightmares are, of course, an absolutely normal part of a child's life. Much as we might wish the fears and conflicts and struggles to play themselves out during normal business hours, the truth is that they must play themselves out whenever and however they will. Sigh. And whether your little one is adjusting to a new sibling or a new preschool or a new city or just a new day, nightmares are often a preschooler's way of making sense of it all. And it just saddens (and maddens) parents that this sense-making takes place at 2 o'clock in the morning. Poor sweet babes. Them, we mean. And you too.
And again, art to the rescue! There are things you can do to help during the long daylight hours. (And are you being sure to luxuriate in just how long these late May days are?! Divine!) Ask your child to draw some of the things she was worried about last night. It may be that the simple act of recreating the scary beast on paper gives your child enough control over it to ease the night troubles. Oh, and don't be reticent to bring it up and trigger a drama -- your child either won't be upset by it in the day, or else she will be upset but because she was already ruminating on it even before you mentioned it.
Ask him to act out what happened in the dream. Now, can he change the ending? Experts call this "rescripting" -- a phrase we Savvy parents love, because there are plenty of moments in our days we'd like the chance to rescript! Draw a different monster this time -- perhaps the monster turns into a nice monster. Perhaps he takes off his mask. Perhaps -- well, let your little one fill in the rest.
Or ask her to write a note to the nighttime bad guy and decorate it and put it up on her door as a keep-out sign.
This kind of art therapy helps a great deal, we've seen (and we've been told by the researchers). Some kids integrate magic into their art, and then that magic reappears in the nighttime to tame the bad guys again. And other kids use their drawings to grasp that the things that terrified them last night aren't real, and that's enough comfort to last until morning. Of course, like all things, there's no easy answer, and one conversation over markers and paper isn't going to ensure placid nights all season. But talking it through and drawing it out and acting it into being do help. And for that alone we weary parents and kiddos, both, are grateful.
Comments
davida said:
Nice article....
turn the lights on
rock and comfort her
tell her that she's o.k. and that you are there for her and keep repeating it. eventually try to put her back to bed and she'll probably nod off right away and you can close the light.
Don't offer anything but consoling words because she's having a nightmare and can't get out of it.
beancuso said:
We love using books to address issues like this in our household. One of our faves is "Go To Bed, Monster!" by Sylvie Kantorovitz. A little girls gets to play with, tire out and convince her monster to finally go to bed! Fun! Make up your own story so your little one can be in charge of their monster, too.
Becky said:
We're a little more pro-active at my house and we draw a hero to chase away the monsters. You can tape it up in their room wherever the monster came from so that it won't get in.
nicholee said:
When my sister-in-law was a preschooler, she had recurring nightmares about a scarecrow. My in-laws bought her a stuffed Eeyore and told her he would chase the scarecrow away. The next morning, she told them Eeyore had eaten the scarecrow. And that was the end of that!
Leanne said:
WOW! Wish I had this savvy advice a couple of years ago! My little one liked to get out of his bed and walk around while having a nightmare! It was truly a nightmare for all of us! He did grow out of it but I just love all the great information!
alfaro.dina said:
my daughter is 19m she has bad night terror what shut a do?
alfaro.dina said:
my daughter is 19m she has bad night terror what shut a do?
alfaro.dina said:
my daughter is 19m she has bad night terror what shut a do?
savvy said:
My daughter has had night terrors for the past two months. I never thought to use art to help her get over them. What a great idea. Thanks, yet again, savvy mommas.
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