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Beyond the Spirited Child: Behavior Challenges and Preschool

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What child doesn't have a few behavior challenges, you might ask? And true, all children are by definition still learning how to behave themselves. But some children have further to go in learning both what is expected and how to control their own behavior in a group setting. You may have an inkling of how your child's group behavior fits age norms from playgroups, religious service child care, activities, or family gatherings. Ask caregivers in those settings where you are not present and listen with an open mind. Developing behavior skills in preschool is more than just polite: research shows that among children of similar socioeconomic backgrounds, behavior at the end of preschool correlates with academic performance in elementary school.

If you have an overly "spirited" child, our table below can help you ask better questions as you make your preschool choice.

Behavior Challenges and The Preschool Search

Priority for Choosing? What To Seek in a Preschool Example Questions to Ask

High Priority:

  • Behavior in a group will hinder learning of self or others, or

  • Repeated violent, harmful acts

  • And does not respond to typical discipline

Low Priority:

  • Child is learning self-control and what behavior is expected; responds to discipline and behavior teaching in other group settings

  • Preschool has clearly stated behavior teaching method and discipline policy

  • In general, look for:

  • Clear behavior expectations communicated

  • Emotion instruction: teaches words for common strong feelings, reading others' faces and body language, understanding own strong feelings, self control techniques

  • Frequent praise, discussions of good behavior

  • Consistent, immediate, firm and fair consequences delivered without passion

  • Ideally, policies are ones you feel comfortable emulating at home


What is your basic approach to discipline?

Do you use special tactics for children who need more help learning behavior and self-control? What are they?

Do you teach children to understand their own emotions and to read others' emotions? How?

See The Savvy Source web pages:

  • School Philosophy and Day-in-the-Life

  • Curriculum and Teaching Approach: Social Skills and Work Habits

  • Quality of Teaching

  • Discipline, Health and Safety

  • Applications and Admissions

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