My Child Is on the Waitlist! What Should I Do?

Here's a hot tip if your child is waitlisted: many preschools have waiting pools, not waiting lists. In other words, all the kids who were not admitted are in one lump group, and it's not clear who has priority if a slot opens up (for example, due to a summer move or some families saying "no thanks" to admission). This may be especially true in preschools with lottery admissions. If your child is waitlisted, take action right away.

Step 1: Write a friendly letter in which you:

• Express your disappointment (don't harp, just mention)
• Explain in simple, clear terms why the preschool is such a great fit for your child (really, most preschools don't care that it will save you ten minutes off your morning commute)
• Explain in simple, clear terms why the other preschool that's your back up will not be a good fit for your child (if true; no need to mention the other preschool's name, by the way)
• End with a simple, clear statement about the one or two most impressive quality indicators that put the school at the top of your list (e.g., "This is the only preschool we found that assesses children's development during the year, and we know that this is a very important element of a high quality preschool!" Or, "The recent investment you have made in hands-on, child-driven materials that teach literacy and math is unlike any other preschool we considered!").
• Grovel. Express directly your hope that your child will be admitted (for his sake, poor thing) if a slot opens for any reason at any time.
• You may want to jot your letter down in advance--it will help you think about what to say in Step 2, which may occur before you mail a letter.

Step 2: Call or visit to the director's office--make sure you actually speak to the director. The phone call is best made the day you get the "no" letter or soon thereafter, so be prepared with your top fit and quality compliments. You can pluck them directly from your Personalized Great Fit Checklist and your school quality comparisons. It's also very appropriate to mention that you intend to contribute to the school in specific, helpful ways, if true. What director wants to turn down the parent who's itching to be a free substitute teacher? Of course do not talk about all the school faults you plan to fix. In fact, don't be annoying at all. Talk to the director once, send your letter, and then give it a rest. More calls right away may backfire (what director wants that parent in the preschool?).

Step 3: Ask a friend or two with children in the preschool to make a quick call to the director on your and your child's behalf. The theme: "This child and family are so awesome that we can't allow them not to be admitted!" If you don't have friends at the preschool, don't sweat it. Polite persistence and knowledge of how well the preschool fits your child's needs may win out.

Step 4: Follow up at the right times. An immediate barrage of phone calls may backfire, especially if you are not high on the ultra-politely-assertive scale. Nonetheless, if you hear nothing for a few weeks, it's OK to follow up with a quick check to say you are still interested. Ditto halfway through the summer and again at the end of summer. Remember, if you cross the line between assertive and annoying/aggressive, you may lose out. But it's better to try and fail than not try at all.

Remember, no preschool is perfect. But the effort you spend choosing the right one for your child and family will be well-spent.